This page began as a letter to myself as a child. In my healing journey today,  I remember the pain of trying to tell, and to escape when I was 12.  I was desperate to tell someone what was happening, but I was so scared. When I did finally tell someone, I picked someone that was not safe- and I was punished for it. Many times, I wished I could go back, and tell someone else instead, or somehow find the courage to try again. Not being believed hurt almost as bad as being abused. I just couldn't do it again. Telling could have stopped it, but I was to scared of being hurt again. These pages answer many of my own doubts and fears, and help me see the truth. 
 

There are no lies on this page, no empty promises, no tricks, and no false hopes. If something really is risky or scary, these pages will say so. I won't lie, and say there is an easy solution.  I am not a doctor, not an expert, and cannot tell you what to do. It is up to you to read this page for ideas, and decide for yourself how you can stop the abuse in your life. This isn't fair, and it isn't easy, but there are ways to escape. You can do this...
 
First thing to try and remember-

The pain you are in is his fault. You are innocent. He told you lies, scared you, and tried to make you think it was your fault.

It was always his fault. No matter what, it was his fault.


Second:

This page can help you, but you must also help yourself. Reading this page will not stop the abuse, or rescue you. It will give you ideas, and encourage you to find ways to escape.


The most important thing of all, and I will repeat this often- If you want to tell someone, but do not know who to trust, try to pick someone who does not know the person who is hurting you. 

Some examples:
If your father is hurting you, don't tell your mother or sister, but tell a teacher at school, or the police.
If it is a teacher, tell the police, or someone at church.
If it is someone at church, tell someone at school.
If it is someone at an after-school place, tell someone at school, or at church, or just call the police.

People in your familiy could be very safe to tell, but for some kids, it is a very bad idea to tell anyone in their family. Sometimes your family will know the person who is hurting you, and they will really not want to believe that this person could do that. Sometimes they just do not want to believe that it could happen while they were responsible for watching you.  For these reasons- and others,  going to someone outside of your family first can be safer. Once others are involved, they can help your family see the truth, and your family can get stronger together. Later, once your family really understands what happened, they can be an awesome help to you.

 

No matter what you have been told, what you may believe, or what you may think, you are brave.

You can get through this.


You have the power to help yourself, and find ways to be safe.


Please believe, you are not alone.

You can survive, and you can heal.

There can be joy- even after all you have been through.

It took courage to get here today. This same courage can take you down the road ahead.
If you want to tell someone, but are still afraid, check out the "Fears" and "Lies" pages. Many of us share similar fears, and have been told the same lies. I have written down some of them.